hawkalite: (Sometimes I miss the sky)
It had been three years since Tobias had said goodbye to Earth. He wasn't sure he was ready to say hello to it again, but here he was. Sitting around in a transport that was slowly beginning the gentle, gravity induced curve towards the atmosphere. He had abandoned this place, left it when there had been nothing left for him but his grief. He had almost lost himself, simply let the hawk-mind take over and fled into the wilderness--but Aximili had stopped him. Had pulled him back from the brink, offered him a different sort of option. Perform the Frolis Maneuver, combine the DNA of Ax with that of a few other Andalite volunteers and come with him. Become a nothlit once more. Tobias could stay with his only real family and could escape the haunting terrors that stalked him on Earth. It had taken weeks of arguing and emotional yelling in thought-speech but Tobias had conceded, at last, that this was the best choice for him. He didn't want to be human anymore. Hadn't actually been human for years. But nor could he remain as he was.

Ironic, that his father had done this to be with a woman he loved. He had done it to escape the grief that came with loving too deeply and too early. Here he was now, descending back towards southern California, knowing what waited for him. He hoped none of the others would be there--he hadn't told them he was coming, though he hadn't checked with Ax to see if Ax had done the same.

As the transport entered the atmosphere and began to be buffeted by the friction of atmospheric entry, Tobias turned an eyestalk towards Ax. Wondered if he felt as nervous as Tobias did.

<I don't know how I feel about being back here.> It's a frank admission of vulnerability. Probably not something an Andalite would do, but then, Tobias wasn't really an Andalite.
hawkalite: (Default)
Tobias hadn't expected to be back on Earth quite so soon. Certainly, he might go back eventually. Visit Rachael. Enjoy the woods and forest that had been his home. Maybe even see Cassie, if only briefly. He hadn't counted on basically becoming the Andalite government's human 'expert' which meant not just being shunted away from his students on a regular basis but also being sent back to Earth for some sort of interstellar summit. Something to do with hashing out the relationship between humans, the Hork-Bajir refugee community and the Andalites. The details eluded him, mostly because he was only getting himself as informed as he needed to be to advise the actual diplomats about what they should or shouldn't do or say to avoid stepping on any toes.

Heh. Toes. There was a saying that he hadn't been able to abolish from his lexicon, despite the confusion it garnered from students or peers whenever he said it. Still, he wasn't going to turn down the government that had essentially given him a new home, as alein as he must have been to them. The fact that Aximilli spoke for him, of course, must have had an impact. So here he was, back on Earth. A place he'd half-expected never to see again. The actual serious business hadn't started yet--instead there was some big social occasion in a fancy private park that overlooked the achingly familiar Pacific Ocean. The grass here wasn't very good (too many pesticides and other junk, Tobias suspected), but he was hovering at the edge of a group of humans and Andalites who were making awkward conversation as people tried to be social. More than ever, he felt awkward--not quite human, but not quite Andalite. Not quite bird, either. The blue sky overhead was probably the thing that made his heart ache the most--he wanted so badly to grow his feathers and fly again, to feel the earth slip away.

He couldn't, of course. Not like the Ellimist was going to pop in and say 'oops, here's your third chance, bird-boy.' So instead Tobias sighed and swiveled his stalk-eyes for a moment to survey the crowd, trying to get a bead on who exactly might be here. Then someone moved out of the way, and there dressed to the nines was a very, very familiar face. One that Tobias had not expected to see again soon. Or ever. Marco had said something that had made the group around him laugh (of course) and was flashing some bright smile as someone took a picture.

Good to see someone was still enjoying themselves, Tobias guessed. It took him a few minutes to work himself up to do something--say something. At first he thought it would be better to ignore him, let Marco and the others think he'd simply flown off into the woods to brood and die. Irresistably, though, he felt himself drawn closer and closer to the circle of humans (and one or two Andalites) around the young man until at last he found himself at its edge, listening. When Marco turned that winning smile onto the new arrival, Tobias dipped his head and struggled for a moment with what to say.

< Hey, Marco. Long time, no see. >

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December 2020

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